I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
