You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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