part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
