We won't sleep together?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
