Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
