she woke up with a sticky ear
In America we eat man semen.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
