i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So much Jack, so little girl.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
