did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
