isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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