I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
