Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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