Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
