Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
