I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
