somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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