i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize