You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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