he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
