we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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