I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
