He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
