its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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