is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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