I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
