Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize