porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
