What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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