But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize