Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
