I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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