Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Small penises have feelings too.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
