apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
