based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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