Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
