I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
