We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
