dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
