Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
