And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm getting married
To pizza
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
