No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
