hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
