Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
