You can't special order awesome
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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