If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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