I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
