first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
