just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
