Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
