So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize