Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
