did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
