Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Someone came in the potted fern
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
