similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
