So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
