well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
