The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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