Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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