I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
