honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
