hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
