shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
