Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
