I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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