Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Someone came in the potted fern
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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