Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
