i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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