i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
